Rules on How to Talk to a pregnant Woman.

yes, that's right, some people are dumb. People don't always have this preconceived common sense that I, as a considerate human being, would expect people to have. Luckily, none of these have been directed to me, but in efforts to avoid massive beating in my months of emotional tyraids to come, I feel it necessary to give warning and disperse any notions that some things are ok to say to a pregnant woman. They simply are not and the following is a journal about some rules I am laying down. I am going to be firm so don;t try to get away with breaking the rule.

So, as a pregnant woman doing her part to be the best mommy in the world, I have made every effort to become the most informed ever. I have 3 different motherhood books, including the infamous "What to Expect When Your Expecting" and others...Thanks to my sis Tera for sending me a fantastic book all the way from Ohio too!

Anyways, in parts of this effort, I have also joined an online discussion group for woman who are due in December. Yes, I am that person. We talk about symptoms, funny stories, doctors visits, fears, etc. I have found it oh so helpful to know others, even if in the cyber world, who also are in this same stage of life as me.

So, as I am reading these posts, someone has the marvelous idea to say "lets start posting pics of our bellies so we can keep track of each others growth!!" I thought, there is no way I am posting my gut up there yet, but heck, lets see the other bellies!! So, this brave first woman posts her 8 week belly. If you are not very knowledgeable of pregnancy, technically most woman don't show that early, but this woman was. You can tell from the picture she has an extremely small frame so, to me, it made sense. Plus, the smile and joy on the glowing woman who is excited to bring a new life into the world was priceless. If my gut was not just cookies and bloating, I would have taken a pic that moment. Then I read the first comment which leads me to add the 1st saying no one is ever going to say to me if I have anything to say about it.

1) wow! You are huge! Are you sure there is just one baby in there?

I promise you, if these words cross your lips you will not hold my child for the first 6 months of his/her life. In fact, as a pregnant woman, I think the only person who can comment about how huge you are is yourself, half the time we will probably be saying it to get the comment "no your not!" in return. Which means....YOU all out there are hereby vetoed from making any comments on how HUGE i get.

You may, instead, use the following terms to describe my pregnancy:
glowing, radiant/radiance, brilliant, lambent, lucient, luminous, cheerful, joyful, SMALL(ha!), admirable, alluring, statuesque, razzle-dazzle, exquisite, gorgeous...
If you are at a loss for the right word, you too can go to thesaraus.com and find just the word you are looking for.

and...just a reminder, I do have a sonogram and have only 1 baby in there, so the whole 'twins' joke is hereby null and void as a funny thing to joke about.

So, I have tons more to say but my after school nap is calling my name...so, be on the lookout for more postings in the very near future about do's and don'ts that could save your relationship with me in the future...

Your favorite pregnant chick...
Teresa